Worst Movies of 2023: Carrier of Disappointment

Surfing through the countless films that hit theaters and streaming platforms, some stand out not for their spectacular storytelling and exceptional performances, but for their perplexing lack of quality. In 2023, we've witnessed the release of quite a few movies that fall into the category of 'bad cinema.' This article delves into some of the most notably disappointing films of the year, examining their faux pas and explaining why they should be avoided.

Monsternado: A Script in Disarray

One of the egregious crowd pleasers is Monsternado. This movie attempts to rehash the formula of Sharknado, a beloved disaster film series, but botches it completely. The script lacks the necessary tongue-in-cheek humor and instead relies on a fatalist narrative that falls flat immediately.

Compounding the issue is the issue of the acting. The cast seems to believe they are performing for a Shakespearean play, but their skills are rudimentary at best, reminiscent of a poorly rehearsed middle school theater production. The DVD cover promises a prehistoric creature being sucked into a water spout, but what we get are a giant octopus, a shark called Megalodon, and some bizarre oversized crabs. All these elements do not cohere to form a coherent narrative, and the experience is lackluster to say the least.

Babylon: A Director's Revenge

Babylon, directed by Damien Chazelle, premiered at the end of 2022 and continued its release in 2023. This film, despite its star-studded cast, has been controversial. It was so unfunny and gross that the reviewer had to leave the theater early. According to one viewer, Chazelle’s intention to make a statement about the film industry, such as his rejection of the Best Picture Oscar, ended up being a significant misfire.

The film introduces us to the hapless protagonist Diego Calva, who is tasked with managing a debased party at a producer's mansion. This fails miserably when the producer demands elephants for pizazz, and Calva ends up getting drenched in elephant shit. The humor in this film is disappointingly low, and if you find it hilarious, it's recommended to reevaluate your sense of humor.

Other Notable Disasters

Lifetime of Silk: A deep dive into the life and works of a controversial artist. House Party: A chaotic and unoriginal take on a classic party film. Children of the Corn: A remake that fails to recapture the original's tense and eerie atmosphere. Paint 65: A sophomore film that misses the mark completely, leaving no memorable moments. The Last Witch Hunter: A poorly written, acted, and directed mess that defines disappointment. Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey: A dark and unappealing adaptation of a beloved children's character that fails to deliver. Ghosted: A film that fails to offer any genuine scares or tension, leaving the audience unimpressed.

These films, while varied in themes and settings, share a common thread: they fail to meet even basic standards of cinematic quality, leaving audiences underwhelmed and disengaged.

Conclusion

As a reviewer and a lover of cinema, it's disheartening to see strides in raw talent and creative vision being squandered on subpar material. The worst movies of 2023 will likely be remembered more for their failures than their successes. However, in the realm of entertainment, there's often a silver lining – even the worst films can provide a valuable learning experience for aspiring filmmakers and critics alike.