Why Are U.S. Citizens Considered Rude by Some in the U.K. for Not Referring to the British Royal Family by Their Formal Titles?

Efficient and effective communication, especially in social and professional settings, is built on understanding and adherence to specific norms and etiquettes. One of the critical aspects of this understanding involves the use of formal titles when addressing individuals, particularly in cultures where such practices are deeply ingrained. This article explores the reasons why U.S. citizens may be perceived as rude in the U.K. for not referring to the British Royal Family by their formal titles.

The Universal Principle of Addressing Someone

Whenever you meet anyone, it is universally polite to address them as they expect to be addressed in the circumstances in which you meet them. This is not specific to the Royal Family or any particular occupation; it is a fundamental social courtesy. While the specific rules for addressing individuals may differ between societies, irrespective of the context, it is generally considered rude to use an informal name without permission. In some cultures, it is rude to address someone by their first name until invited to do so, while in others, it is considered rude not to use the first name immediately after being introduced. However, the core concept remains: it is impolite to use a name that someone has clearly indicated is not their preferred form of address.

Ignorance vs. Intentional Rudeness

Of course, it is possible to be ignorant about the preferred name or title of someone, but this does not absolve the individual from the responsibility to inquire or be respectful of the other person's wishes. When encountering the Royal Family, there are always people who can inform you of the expected protocol, whether it is formal courtesy or familial address.

Even if an individual chooses not to use a formal title, this refusal to acknowledge it may still be perceived as rude, as it dismisses the recognition and respect that the title represents. The title is often granted as a sign of honor, and failing to use it can be seen as a dismissal of the value of their work and the service they have provided.

The Anglicization of Names and Perception

The example of Melania Knavs, who married Donald Trump and anglicized her name to Melania Trump, provides a perfect illustration of how individuals change their names to align with cultural expectations. In this case, everyone uses her formal married name, showcasing a willingness to adopt formal titles to align with social norms.

Conversely, why do U.S. citizens insist on calling the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, by her maiden name? The key factor here is the sense of respect and acknowledgment of the honor and service that a formal title represents. It is not merely about the name itself but about the entire concept of recognizing the quintessential role these individuals play in their respective countries. Treating members of the Royal Family by their formal titles is a sign of respect and acknowledgment of the tradition and honor that such titles carry.

The Real Reason Behind the Impoliteness

One could argue that the ignorance of or the refusal to use formal titles is, in fact, the root of the perceived rudeness. The failure to acknowledge the title granted in recognition of service and honor can be seen as a dismissive gesture, even if the intent behind it is not malicious. The formal title is not just an address but a symbol of respect and gratitude, and it is important to honor this tradition.

In conclusion, the respectful use of formal titles in addressing individuals, particularly members of the Royal Family, is a fundamental aspect of social etiquette and respect. Ignoring these norms can be perceived as rude and impolite, especially in cultures where such practices are deeply rooted. Understanding and adhering to these traditions can help bridge cultural gaps and foster mutual respect and appreciation.