The Worst Movie Reviews: Cats and Its Catastrophic Critics

When it comes to movies, there are some that manage to unite the audience in shared loathing. Take Cats, for example, the 2019 musical that drastically underperformed in theaters and earned some of the most scathing reviews in recent memory. These reviews are a testament to the power of criticism in shaping public opinion on a film. In this article, we take a look at some of the most memorable, and in some cases, hilarious negative reviews that Cats garnered.

A Reviewer’s Dark Paradise

One of the most famous and memorable reviews of Cats has to be that of David Farrier. Originally written for a publication but subsequently refused, the review found its way to Twitter. Farrier, best known for the Netflix series Dark Tourist, wrote a scathing piece that left no stone unturned in its critique of the film. His tweet thread remains a benchmark in how one can ruthlessly dissect a movie and its elements, leaving the reader cringing in sympathy for those who had to sit through it.

Original Tweet

Highs and Lows: Bradshaw’s Poetic Review

Peter Bradshaw, the movie critic for The Guardian, is known for his witty and insightful reviews. Even when addressing a film as poorly received as Cats, his wit shines through. He penned a one-star review that was a sardonic ode to the film, written in the style of T.S. Eliot’s poetry. The review, encapsulated in the title Cats Review: A Purr-Perfectly Dreadful Hairball of Woe, exemplifies how even the most critical reviews can still possess a certain charm.

Full Review on The Guardian

The Cat’s Meow: Pithy and Poignant Reviews

But Cats didn’t just get one or two scathing reviews. It became the target of some of the most memorable and thought-provoking negative critiques in recent movie history. Here are a few of those reviews:

Felix Vasquez Jr.: Having a literal cat claw at my eyes for an hour and forty-nine minutes would have been less painful. Kent Garrison: Mad About Movies Allen Adams: A tortured fever dream of a unholy offspring of a coked-up studio utive notes session and a dark ritual intended to summon forth the Elder Gods. We are all cursed. We are all damned. We are all Cats. Chris Wasser: The film requires a level of strength, courage, and indeed patience the likes of which I am simply unequipped for. Christopher Lawrence: Chatham News Neil Morris: Seemingly scooped out of the litter box; best viewed under the influence of catnip or some other hallucinogenic substance. Robert W. Butler: Throwing out the timeless adage “Youll never forget it – though you will try,” Cats attempts to give us the nightmare from which we cannot wake. Robert W. Butler (Butlers Cinema Scene): The strangest species mashup since Manimal. Peter Sobczynski: I would rather eat glass than watch Cats again. Larushka Ivan-Zadeh: It is literally the stuff of nightmares. Clint Worthington: By the time I left the theater, I wasnt even sure what a real cat looked like anymore. Hannah Woodhead: I felt the light inside me slowly fading. Alissa Wilkinson: I hope I never see it again. Ty Burr: Oh God my eyes! Alan Corr: First off, full disclosure – I am not a cat person. Second off – after watching this frankly mortifying film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webbers Cats, I am not altogether sure I am a movie person anymore either. Edward Douglas: Cats is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs.

Conclusion

These reviews stand as a testament to the power of a well-crafted negative review, one that can entertain as much as it can critique. From poetic sardonicism to punchy one-liners, Cats garnered some of the most iconic and memorable reviews in recent movie history. While it may be an acquired taste, Cats certainly provided the talking points necessary to sustain its place in the annals of cinematic infamy.