John Rambo in Angola: An African Cold War Tale

In the annals of cinematic history, John Rambo, the rugged Vietnam War veteran and former Green Beret, embodies the quintessential American underdog. This article explores a hypothetical scenario where Rambo embarks on a new mission in the Angolan Civil War of the mid-1980s, pitting him against the MPLA (People's Movement for the Liberation of Angola) and the Cuban Army. This unusual twist brings a new dimension to the Rambo legend, blending Cold War politics with African conflict.

Escalating Tensions and UNITA's Rise

As the Cold War raged on, Angola, a vast and resource-rich nation on the African continent, became a battleground for superpower proxies. The MPLA, supported by the Soviet Union and Cuba, clashed with UNITA (National Union for the Total Independence of Angola), a rebel group backed by the United States and other Western powers.

John Rambo, with his expertise in guerrilla warfare, finds himself allied with Jonas Savimbi and UNITA. Armed with an assortment of weaponry, including the AKM rifle, M1911A1 pistol, and a bow and arrows, Rambo employs guerilla tactics to decimate the MPLA and Cuban forces. His presence and combat prowess would undoubtedly tip the scales towards UNITA, which could have changed the course of the Angolan Civil War.

Comparison to Red Scorpion: Cold War Action Flicks

Imagine a parallel universe where John Rambo's insertion into Angola is depicted in a Cold War action film. The script might draw strong parallels to the 1987 action movie Red Scorpion, where Adolph Lundgren stars as a rogue Soviet agent fighting against the MPLA, Cubans, and their Soviet superiors. Big guns, tanks, helicopters, and explosions dominate the landscape, as numerous characters from the MPLA, Cubans, and Soviets meet their demise.

In a Stallone flick of this nature, the protagonist would likely exhibit the same level of physical prowess and combat expertise, with the omission of his former communist allegiance. Cold War dynamics would be in full force, with the main antagonist being a Soviet official, much like in Red Scorpion. The Cubans and MPLA would once again serve as the primary cannon fodder.

Pacific Rift and Unmentioned Powers

While the Cold War narrative is central, it's worth noting that the apartheid government of South Africa played a critical role in the Angolan Civil War, supporting UNITA and undermining the MPLA. This complex geopolitical landscape is often overlooked in Hollywood depictions, as was the case with the real-life production of Red Scorpion. This omission further obscures the true nature of the conflict, reducing the complexity to a binary struggle between East and West. The South African government’s involvement, including clandestine funding and support, was instrumental in the conflict, yet it remains largely unexplored in mainstream cinema.

Trivial Insight: The Educational Path of Sylvester Stallone

A small piece of trivia: If Jackie Stallone had not pulled her son Sylvester out of the high school he attended in Philadelphia and sent him to a private military school, he would have graduated in the same class as my older brother from Abraham Lincoln High School—class of 1964. This shared school background led to Stallone honoring his old school by wearing black and gold boxing trunks in the second Rocky movie, a gesture reflective of his connection to his roots.