Empathy and Healing: What to Say to Someone Hurting From Those Closest to Them

When someone you care about—an intimate partner, friend, or family member—experiences deep pain from the very people they trust most, it can be challenging to find the right words. Whether you are trying to offer comfort, guidance, or simply be a listening ear, the way you approach the situation can significantly impact their recovery. Here are some suggestions on what to say and how to provide support during such difficult times.

Building Trust and Support

One of the most essential aspects in such situations is to build a foundation of trust. This means offering an ear to hear their story without judgment and being there consistently. Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship, and it is critical to maintain its integrity even in the face of betrayal and hurt.

Tell Them You Are Sorry and Listen

Begin by expressing sympathy and acknowledging their pain. A simple ‘I am sorry’ can go a long way in making them feel heard and valued. Offer to listen if they need someone to talk to, but reassure them that you will always be there for them. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply listen and validate their feelings.

Example: ‘I am sorry this is happening to you. If you ever need to talk, know that I am here for you, whenever you need me.’

Importance of Communication

Foster open communication to help the person heal. Encourage them to share their feelings and thoughts without fear of judgment or further harm. Encourage them to verbalize their pain as talking is often the first step in the healing process.

Example: ‘It is okay to feel this way. Sometimes it helps to talk about it, so I can understand what you are going through better. Whenever you feel like sharing, I am ready to listen.’

Offering Sympathy, Empathy, and Hope

Offer your sympathy and empathize with their pain. Let them know that you understand the struggle of being betrayed by people they thought they could trust. Share your own experiences of healing if it might help, but always do it in a way that portrays hope rather than pessimism.

Emotional Support

Example: ‘I am so sorry you are going through this. It’s normal to feel this way. I have been there too, and I can tell you that things get better. I am here to support you in any way I can.’

Encouraging Forgiveness

Encourage the person to forgive, even if it is not easy or immediate. Forgiveness is a journey, not an instant fix, but it is essential for healing. Remind them that forgiveness does not mean forgetting or accepting what happened; it means moving forward with a clear conscience.

Example: ‘I know forgiveness is hard, but it is an important step in healing. Even if you can’t forgive right now, can we talk about it? It’s okay to feel that way, and we can discuss it together when you are ready.’

Professional Help

It is also important to encourage them to seek professional help if needed. A counselor or therapist can provide more structured support and help them process their emotions in a healthy way.

Example: ‘You may also want to consider speaking with a counselor. They can provide you with the tools and support you need to navigate through this difficult time.’

Practicing Empathy as a Way to Serve and Support

Beyond just words, embrace the role of a caring and empathetic friend. Show that you genuinely care about their wellbeing by being present and attentive. Never dismiss their pain or try to force them to ‘get over it’ quickly.

Example: ‘You are hurting, and I can see that. Let’s find someone to talk to, or maybe just sit in silence and be together for a while.’

Final Thoughts

Remember, the journey towards healing from betrayal by those closest to us can be long and challenging. Your role as a supportive friend is to offer a safe space for them to express their feelings and to be there when they choose to move forward. By practicing empathy, active listening, and encouragement, you can contribute significantly to their healing process.

Conclusion

While there may not be any silver bullet solutions to help someone recover from the pain of those close to them, your presence and support can make a substantial difference. By being a source of empathy, understanding, and encouragement, you can help them build the necessary strength to navigate through their pain and towards healing.