Awareness of Assholery: Self-Awareness or Intentional Misbehavior?

It is widely believed that individuals aware of their behaviors as demeaning or hurtful often do not care about the consequences, or they simply lack self-awareness. These individuals believe their actions are justified or consider them normal. This essay aims to explore the different levels of awareness and the reasons behind the behavior of so-called 'assholes.'

The Spectrum of Awareness

The behavior of 'assholes' can be categorized into three main types based on their awareness levels:

Lack of Self-Awareness: Some individuals are genuinely unaware of how their actions impact others. They might think their behavior is acceptable or justified. Cognitive Dissonance: People often rationalize their behavior to avoid discomfort, leading to internal conflict or cognitive dissonance. They may recognize that their actions are problematic but find ways to convince themselves otherwise. Explicit Awareness with Intentional Misbehavior: Some individuals are completely aware of their behavior and its impact but choose to continue their actions intentionally, driven by personal gain or a lack of empathy.

Lack of Self-Awareness

People who act in an asshole manner due to a lack of self-awareness often fail to understand the full extent of how their actions affect others. They might genuinely believe their behavior is acceptable, or they may have grown up in an environment where such behavior was normalized. This lack of awareness can lead to harmful actions without the individual recognizing the negative impact.

Cognitive Dissonance

Those experiencing cognitive dissonance are aware of the problem but rationalize their behavior to maintain their self-image. They might recognize that their actions are hurtful yet defend them by finding justifications or dismissing the negative consequences. This internal conflict often leads to unresolved discomfort and may contribute to a cycle of continued misbehavior.

Explicit Awareness with Intentional Misbehavior

Individuals who are completely aware of their behavior and continue to act as assholes typically do so for personal gain or a lack of empathy. These individuals might understand the impact of their actions but choose to ignore it, driven by arrogance, ego, or a desire for dominance. Their behavior is intentional and can be seen as a form of manipulation or displays of dominance.

Personal Reflection

Personal experiences and reflections can also play a significant role in understanding one's behavior. The author of this essay shares their journey of self-awareness. Despite knowing when they have acted as an asshole, there are times when the awareness only comes after the fact. Regular self-reflection can lead to guilt and remorse but can also prevent future misbehavior by fostering growth and a deeper understanding of interpersonal dynamics.

Conclusion

The behavior of 'assholes' can be driven by a lack of self-awareness, cognitive dissonance, or a combination of both. Regardless of the underlying reasons, recognizing and addressing this behavior is crucial for personal and social growth. Understanding one's own behavior and the impact it has on others can lead to more harmonious and respectful interactions in both personal and professional settings.

By promoting awareness, empathy, and open communication, we can help individuals move towards more considerate and respectful behaviors, breaking the cycle of harmful actions and creating a more positive social environment.